DRINK MORE CHAMPAGNE

How to Grow More Successful by Celebrating Your Victories

© Dr. Irina Kossovskaia, 2011

According to Mark Twain, “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence”. It is a proven fact that sufficient amount of champagne increases both thus arguably doubling your chances for success… but that’s not what I am talking about here.

You see, we traditionally drink champagne on special occasions and to celebrate our successes and victories. It is my belief that the more you celebrate your successes, the more successful you become, and I am going to prove it to you. (Just so we are clear: I am not saying that JUST celebrating victories is THE secret to success, but it sure helps.)

March 31, 1984… The happiest day of my life. I was in a lot of pain after surgery, groggy, nauseated, slightly feverish, with needles and tubes everywhere in my body, but none of that mattered.  Overpowering any physical discomfort, one thought was loudly and victoriously pounding in my head, “I DID IT! I WON!” That was the day my son was born.

Yes, at that point it was still “I”. I haven’t met him yet. I didn’t meet him until the next morning, when a nurse brought him to me, my miracle boy. He was perfect. He looked straight at me with his pure blue eyes (even though I knew he couldn’t see me yet; newborn babies do not see well). Then he smiled – and the world stopped. And when it started moving again, everything was different. In that new world, there was no “I” anymore, only “we”, and my heart was no longer an empty place. Ever again.

He still has the very same smile now, 27 years later.  Warm, all-understanding, and a little ironic, his smile lights up a room and makes my heart sink every time I see it.  It also reminds me every time the established fact that I am a WINNER.

When I was 25 years old, the world was my playground. I was a well-established eye surgeon in the third largest city in Russia, a successor of a dynasty, a young scientist, a young wife… The future was bright and predictable – that is, until I was told I could not have children. The news shattered my universe to the core. I just could not accept it – and I didn’t.

It took five years of struggle, of trial and error, of hopes and disappointments, of learning patience, humility, and determination in observing the hospital ward ceiling from my bed for six straight months of a difficult pregnancy – but I did it. I won the battle, and I got the prize.

Of course, I’d had successes before, lots of them, but on March 31, 1984 I experienced SUCCESS in its purest form, and that was glorious…

Fast-forward 27 years. I was on the stage of Wyndham Garden Hotel in Austin, Texas getting ready to deliver a speech on my favorite topic, “Invincible Mindset”, to my community of Home Healers. I’d done my fair share of public speaking, and it was always exciting, but this time it was different. This event was the first class of my newly formed HealthBoss University – the project that had finally come to fruition after several years in the making.

In the eyes of my audience I saw my vision coming true, and I knew – I was getting closer to my BIG GOAL of developing a “parallel system” of healthcare where people take back their power, regain their health confidence and competence, and become Health Independent Home Healers.

I know how to do it. I’ve got the knowledge, I’ve got the tools, and I’ve got the experience. In my 14 years with holistic medicine, I helped many people become their own Health Bosses and win where conventional medicine failed. I’ve built a successful business around it, I’ve transitioned from being a health practitioner to being a serial entrepreneur and a marketer, but most important – I have facilitated the evolution of a supportive vibrant community that shares my vision, makes the world a better place, and grows by the day. I consider it my biggest professional achievement so far.

In my personal life, I’ve successfully adapted to a new culture and a new way of living in the opposite part of the world from where I grew up and lived and I have built a solid foundation for my son’s unclouded future. I’ve engineered an “ultimate lifestyle”, purposefully liberating myself from many chains that traditionally clip our wings, and I’ve become a “free creator”. I have more exciting projects on-the-go than I can handle, and the sky is my limit.

Would all that qualify me as a SUCCESSFUL person? I believe so, and I feel that familiar buzzing excitement of realization that “I DID IT” vibrating through my entire being as I am getting ready to deliver my speech to the Home Healers who came to my program from every corner of the globe to learn, to share, and to grow stronger together.

YES, it feels great! But… not quite as great as I felt when my son was born.

Does that surprise you? The long list of successes I just mentioned (plus the ones I didn’t) surely may be considered bigger overall successes than the birth of a child – a natural process that nearly half of humankind is capable of accomplishing. And yet, it just does not FEEL that way… Why? What’s missing?

I thought about this phenomenon, and here are my conclusions.

1. Despite a popular belief, SUCCESS is an INTERNAL matter.  “Success” is not just an exciting acknowledgement of the fact that you accomplished your goals. It is the state of your being, the state of your spirit when you achieve something meaningful.

This state is exhilarating, addictive, and makes you want MORE. It is something you feel if you are an athlete receiving a gold medal or a mountain climber who finally reached a peak. And even though always joyful, this state is not merely emotional – it is spiritual. It undeniably positions you as a WINNER in your own eyes. And THAT is what matters the most.

Success builds your self-esteem, the cornerstone of your personality. The more successful you are, the higher your self-esteem, and the stronger your self-esteem is, the more successful you will be, putting to work the famous Law of Attraction. That brings me to my second conclusion.

2. Success breeds success. People with a winning spirit will always be successful, because they know HOW to be. They already did it, so they know they CAN, even if they have a setback. “Success comes in cans, while failure comes in cant’s”. Winners have that Invincible Mindset that makes them keep going where others quit, and each of their victories makes them stronger, increasing their chances of succeeding again and again.

3. Success is just as much an art as it is a science and a skill. It follows certain universal laws and can be learned and developed. Would you like to know how?

Here are my 3 simple steps to developing the ‘success skill’. Even though they may seem obvious, pay attention to the fine print  – details make these steps work (as is proven in practice over and over again).

Step #1. Set your goals.

Fine print:

• If you are just learning the art of success, set one goal at a time; it will keep you focused.
• The goal needs to be ATTAINABLE from the point you are at “here and now”. If you set your goal too high, you will not FEEL successful despite the obvious. For example, if you set your mind on becoming president of the United States and you only made it to the senate – do you think you would feel successful? Keep your big vision, but break the marathon distance to it into smaller segments that you CAN run now.

Step #2. Once your goal is set, keep going towards it with everything you’ve got, until you reach it, NO MATTER WHAT.

Fine print:

• If you did NOT reach your goal after several attempts and are ready to give up, use my proprietary secret. I call it “the secret of the YET.” Try your action once again, but this time, just as you are ready to say, “I can’t…” add “yet” to it – “I can’t… YET” – and try again. Repeat.

Have you ever watched a child learning to walk? Copy the process. Success guaranteed. You did it then, you can do it again. “Success comes in cans, while failure comes in cant’s”.

• If you DID reach your goal, do the Step #3, without fail.

Step #3. Celebrate your success.

In my opinion, this is the most important step of all. Why?

• It implies that you have successfully completed the previous two steps. (It is obvious, of course, but is still worth mentioning. )
• It “anchors” victory in your psyche, validates it, and acknowledges it through the intensified emotion of JOY you experience while celebrating (with champagne, of course, which always adds to joy). We do not forget emotions like that. From now on you will always remember that you WON.
• After a while anchored victories become habitual. “Of course, I succeeded. How can it be any other way?”

Well, my friend, you’ve just mastered the Art of Success, because in this state you do not have to chase success; it will come to you. In fact, you’ve ALREADY succeeded before you’ve even begun.

Actually, after Step #3 is Step#4 – setting your next goal. The winning cycle will perpetuate, and your attainable goals will grow bigger as your self-esteem grows.  Soon the actual achievements of smaller goals will not even matter anymore; you will be confident enough to fail.

Just keep your eyes on your BIG GOAL, on your vision – and go towards it with everything you’ve got. Do it no matter what, KNOWING that sooner or later, in one way or another, you will get there. And you will celebrate BIG.

I guess that’s why I did not feel quite the same way on stage of the newborn HealthBoss University, getting ready to connect with my community, as I had felt when my son was born. My BIG GOAL is not achieved yet; my vision has yet to come true.  I know it will though. It is only a matter of time. And oh, boy, will I ever throw a celebration!

We are not born successful. We BECOME successful – through trial and error, and small victories that grow bigger as your goals grow. Celebrate your victories. Each of them is your biggest success so far.

Have more of them. Celebrate them better. Drink more champagne!

Dr. Irina